Speak.Life.

whatshouldwecallme:

seriously…. this is me today

“Is World War I the war about the slaves between the North and the South?” - Things my students say. 

Sometimes I feel inspired to do something great…and then I remember my ever growing to-do list and I’m just… stuck.

49 days until graduation. 

I never thought I was one who struggled a lot with pride… mostly because I have a serious lack of self-confidence. My definition of pride was someone who thinks they are better than everyone else, thinks they have everything figured out, and are therefore incredibly slow to make changes in their life, even if those changes are necessary  I think that many people would agree with me on this definition… because this is what the world tells us pride is… however this morning, through listening to this message by MarK Snee of Cornerstone Church (Opposition vs. Usefulness) I learned that  my lack or self-confidence and overconcern for what other people think of me is also a dangerous pride issue. It is less “in your face” and more passive, but it is equally as poisonous to the fulfillment of the purpose the Lord has for me. For years, this pride has entrapped me and prevented me from countless opportunities to love other people, and to show them the love of God. Humility is not thinking less of myself, but being confident that God has everything I need taken care of, and therefore, my direction is shifted away from my own wants, needs, desires, and potential embarrassment, and toward the needs of others. Humility is extreme confidence in who He is, it is courage, strength, and power… humility is not timidity, shyness, or living passively. 

I am writing this today, because I realize I struggle a lot with pride, and as the Lord is preparing me to be a wife and has been showing me to live with purpose, I realize that one of the best ways to overcome sin is through the support of the body of Christ. And so, through this post I ask that you pray for me, because I have been living a selfish life for way too long, and I know that today and tomorrow are going to be just as much of a struggle to pick up my cross and follow Him. Thank you.  

I began this post on the 31st of December.. like most people do when one year is coming to an end and a new one is beginning… but I was feeling completely uninspired for days. I think this is partially because my life has been completely insane since I returned from Korea a little over a week ago… but it took a certain blog post from a wonderful friend of mine (shout out to Kelsey Hanlon!) to inspire me to get the ball rolling! 

2012 was a big year for me… I completed my last “on-campus” semester at Eastern, became a substitute teacher and learned a lot about how much I still don’t know about teaching, stood next to one of my best friends as the maid of honor in her wedding, Ran in the Color Run, moved out of my last college apartment, flew on a plane halfway around the world to South Korea, met hundreds of new people in one month and experienced culture shock in the rural city of Andong, fell in love with my students and gained priceless experience teaching English to students grades kindergarten to 6th, got engaged!, celebrated as so many other friends got engaged or married and got asked to be bridesmaids in two of my best friends weddings in 2013, climbed some mountains, visited the DMZ, travelled around Seoul by myself, got my student teaching placement for my final semester before graduation, and surprised my family on Christmas Eve by returning from Korea early. … and all the moments in between.

Although Korea and getting engaged to the love of my life definitely stick out as two of the most incredible happenings of this past year, there is no denying that every single day was a gift. Travelling far from home really showed me how lucky I am to have such amazing friends and family. No matter how far away I am, they are an irreplaceable part of my life, and I am so happy to be home now, and with even more great friends that I met while in Korea. God has certainly blessed me this year… and I realize I have not done nearly enough to show these people how much I love them or to “give back” for all I have been given. 

I don’t have many specific goals for this upcoming year, but some things I do plan on doing are; making every single day meaningful, showing the people I love how much I appreciate them, and giving more than I receive.

If you are reading this, you are so valuable to me, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I really do think I have some of the worlds greatest friends and family. Thank you all so much for all you do. 

1. America is divided- based upon the things I read tonight, we are no longer American, but instead we are either Republicans or we are Democrats… and depending on who you talk to, we could all be idiots, evil, and full of hate. Nothing good can come out of a country divided. 

2. For those who put their faith in God, I am seeing a lot of hopelessness floating around- Despite the circumstances of the world, we should always have hope.  

3. There was so much hate and anger these past few days that it made me thankful to be witnessing this from another country. I saw hate from both sides, even after a winner was clearly chosen. What’s the point? There will always be people who disagree with you… and thats okay- you are only in control of your own thoughts and decisions. 

4. Our country has lost respect for our leaders, and if you ask me, that is a bigger problem than who currently resides in the Oval office.

5. Bottom line- If you are a bible-believing Christian, pray for your leaders, pray for your country, and continue to stand up for what you believe is right, but in the process, love people who oppose you, turn the other cheek when you are confronted and attacked, and never lose your faith in Him. God is not surprised with the outcome of this election- He is sovereign and He is in control- and a whole lot of people, myself included, need to live like we believe that. 

”Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all.” -1 Chronicles 29:11

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9